Friday, February 4, 2011

Kitten genocide

There are certain things you just don't talk to people about. This can be for various reasons, but it's usually because it could piss certain people off. For me, one of the biggest is my zombie survival plan.

Now I'm fully aware that zombies aren't real. For the most part my plan is just a joke, done for fun. But don't let that fool you for even a second, this list was written as if they are real (because... Well... You can't be too careful). I've thought out every major detail needed to ensure survival for myself and about 20 others. Now why don't I share this with people? Those 20 others are why.

I'm more than happy to share broad details of my plan (though never specific locations) with other people, but NEVER who I plan to have in my survival group. Thing is, I have lots of friends but only a handful of them are on the list. It's nothing personal to those who I don't have on it, but this plan is designed to maximize my chances of survival.

My list has about a dozen people on it who bring some kind of skill to the table to help with survival, or have a wide enough spread of skills to stay useful. Each of those 12 can bring ONE person with them of their choosing, though I reserve the right to veto their choice. Why would I veto their choice? Because the biggest factor in who I chose (aside from skill set) is how well these people can work together. Not just whether they like each other, but if they can put aside personal qualms for the good of the group. Nothing will result in our asses getting munched faster than some dumb fuck getting pissed over something petty argument, and missing a zombie who then bites other group members.

As of right now only a couple of the people I've picked know that they've been picked. I REALLY don't want other people to find out because nothing can kill a friendship like finding out the other person is useful/stable enough to be in a survival group.

Should I ever see the signs of a stage three outbreak starting, I'll contact all these people and tell them the situation. I'll also be doing this if I foresee a tea party uprising, because to be entirely frank, those assholes scare me a lot more than zombies.

and now, a comic. CTVF bitches


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