ur mum!!!

so here's my thing. I'll openly say that dogs are probably better than cats. better pets, better companions, and all around better animals.

dogs are better because...

1. they're easier to train.
2. they're happier to see you when you get home. 
3. they're loyal to you.
4. they're protective of you.

cats are worse because...

1. they don't care about you.
2. they will love you one minute and claw you out the next. 
3. they won't do anything if it doesn't directly benefit them.

now that being said... I will ALWAYS pick having a cat over a dog as a pet. why because cats are devious, vindictive bastards who just don't give a fuck. and I like that. it's what I like in a pet.

so... here's a comic. lol enjoy ^_^ and remember to click to view full.

(insert title here)

so gonna be a quicky tonight (hee hee, quicky). I've been thinking long and hard on this and here are my top 5 pies in order of amazingness.

#5
Apple
okay I get it, it's an american classic, and I'm not saying it's bad... I like apple pie just fine, it's just not my favorite.

#4
Pumpkin
pretty damn good (except for my grandma Richeson's recipe... I fucking hate that stuff, and every year I have to choke down a slice and try not to lose my cookies)

#3
Chocolate pudding/mousse
alright maybe some people will argue "that's not really a kind of pie!" and to those people I say, Fuck off. if pumpkin pie counts then so does this.

#2
Blueberry
this one is pretty damn good, but if you use bad blueberries, or if you cook it for too long, it has the potential to be terrible. but 99/100 times it's brilliant.

and last, my favorite pie in the world. this pie is a pie above all others and it is rare I choose any other pie over this one... I give you...

#1
Marionberry
FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!! not joking, this is the best kind of pie in the world. I started eating it about 5 years ago and I've been hooked ever since. this is not a discussion. I am TELLING you. THIS. PIE. IS. GOD.

and now for a friendly comic. like I always say, click to see the full thing.

yeah I didn't post yesterday... what of it?

today was a good day overall. woke up, checked out my internet stuffs, played with my new DS game (the new super mario bros), got some food, headed out and ran into a friend. over all my morning was good, or at least until the ninjas showed up. fucking government ninjas are always ruining my day. I suppose it's not their fault, they're just doing their job. but do those assholes really have to always attack me in the bathroom?

there I am standing at the urinal when one of the stall doors fly open and this guy dressed in black flies out at me with a kusarigama. as everyone knows, it's pretty much useless to try and run when your opponent has one of those things (all he'll do is grab you with the chain and trip you up, and at that point you're screwed). so I dodged his initial attack and blasted him in the jaw with my knee. I grabbed the weighted end of his weapon and cracked him in the back of the head with it. once he was on the ground, I checked his pulse. he was only,  knocked out so I called an ambulance and head on my way.

once I got out I decided to head to the beach to read for awhile, but apparently someone really has it out for me because I didn't get through two chapters when a hole in the dimensional barrier ripped open right above the lagoon. so I cast a freezing charm and ran out to the middle of the lake, and there I am standing with a freaking portal to the demon realm opening up fifteen feet above my head. of course THAT is when I realized I'd left my pocket knife at home. so now I had no way of closing the rift, maybe a hundred people standing around watching me because they think it's some kind of show, and at that moment I started craving a slurpee REALLY bad.

I started looking around at the crowd frantically, hoping that I might see something I need. that's when I saw it... a yo-yo. I ran across the ice and grabbed the yo-yo from the kid holding it, then I ran to the portal, leaped into the air, and flung the toy as hard as I could at the focusing crystal in the center of the the opening. the yo-yo jammed into the center of it and I yanked back the string as hard as I could. fortunately I managed to pull out the crystal when I did because that demon was literally about to get through the portal.

well apparently the crowd was pretty impressed with my "show" cuz the applauded afterwards. then I walked my happy ass over to the 7-11, bought the biggest slurpee I could, and headed home. slurpees make every day pretty damn okay.

oh so because i felt it would be fun, here is a live action remake of my last comic. like I've said so many times before, just click it to see the whole thing.

because jake commands it.

vanilla coke... FUCK YEAH!!! this stuff is amazing. really it's an amazing drink. it's hard to find now though. I mean it's still for sale, but it's just not for sale everywhere. so here's a list of the things that I love, that while still around, are hard to find.

• Vanilla Coke (Mitch says they sell it in 12 packs at central)
• Mountain Dew Live Wire (though the fred meyer's in burlington sells it in 12 packs)
• Invader Zim (only shows on NickToons)
• CatDog (same as Invader Zim)

and last but not least...

• CRISPY M&MS

you all have NO IDEA how much I loved those things. you can try telling me those new pretzel M&Ms are close to the same thing, but close is not enough. do you know what I did right after those were discontinued? I went to a liquidation store that still had them, and bought enough to last me 2 months (which was about $30 but i was little so that was a ton of money to me). then I finally ran out, and my soul dies a little bit. now if I want those, I have to order them from another country... not cool M&M company... not cool...

speaking of things I love... here's a comic. 

dude... i can hear my hair growing.

so today is a kind of serious post. It's all about points of view.

everyone has their own opinions and their own points of view, but what I can't stand are people who take their own point of view, and completely shut out and ignore EVERYONE who has something even slightly different to say. and there are two kinda of people like this. there are the ones who pretend like they're listening, but haven't actually heard a word you've said, and there are those who simply cut you off, tell you your wrong, and won't let you say a word for your side.

the thing both of them have in common is they both go into a "discussion" with their minds made up. the thing is, what good is having an opinion if you don't know anything of the other side of the argument. the fact is, just because you think you know everything about a subject, doesn't mean you do. perhaps if you listen to the other side, they could say something you didn't know about before. perhaps if you listen to what they say, you can make a better argument for your side. but telling people that they're wrong about something that is based on opinions and philosophy, is a very bad way to go about living.

now i'm not going to pretend like I'm perfect. I know i'm guilty of what I've mentioned, but I try very hard to listen to what people have to say, even if I don't agree with it.

on a happier note, I have been re-reading my some of my favorite books lately. The Hitchhikers Guide series. I love these books, simply because they are such a wonderful play on humanity, and how we act with each other. and on that note, here is my comic for the day, I hope some will find it funny, and others will find it hilarious. and remember, you can click it to open in it's own screen to view.

hmm... damn her and her good points...

so someone... *cough cough* told my mom about this blog. now I'm not going to censor anything I say on here too much, but no more posts about family. I'll rant about that in private. because as much as I hate to admit it, my mother (and the person who told her about it, who I still think is amazing and I love them)  had a good point. if certain family members read those posts, it would cause me more grief than anything else. so I'm gonna keep those away from here, and I'll post other more fun things instead. now for that comic I posted yesterday but deleted =P

all grown up?

you know what scares me shitless? I'm an adult. I mean... I'm an ADULT! for the love of Christ how terrifying is that? I mean... I still like Lego blocks, and I think silly putty is the greatest shit on earth. i laugh my ass off at kids shows like iCarly. hell most of the time I only pick up half of what people say because I usually have some kind of epic fantasy going on in my head about     A) having super powers     B) having ninjas burst into the middle of the conversation and we have to fight them off     or C) the person i'm talking to dying in a comical fashion (like their head popping like a balloon)

now don't worry, I know I have responsibilities and I'm not about to go shirking those, but still at heart I still feel like a kid sometimes.

you know what screw everything I just wrote. as written in XKCD I'm an adult now, so it's up to me to decide what that means. if I still have dreams of creating the worlds most epic treehouse, then more power to me. INNER CHILDREN OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!!!!!!

AND NOW..... here is a comic. click the picture if you can't see the whole thing and it should open in a new window.

my story... help?

hey all you Michael fans, I started writing this, and I want help developing the plot. I'm not really looking for editing or stuff like that, but what I am looking for, I've listed at the bottom. so read the story, and gimme your advice.

"Jesus fucking Christ Thomas, what the fuck are you doing?" asked Jake “that’s gross!”

"It’s okay!" replied Thomas, who at the time, was balls deep in some little twink on the kitchen counter. "We moved all the stuff off before we started."

"THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!" Jake screamed. This was hardly the first time Jake had caught Thomas fucking somewhere he shouldn't, but that fact did nothing to ease Jake’s anger. It wasn't as much the fact that Thomas was having sex on the kitchen counter, but more that Jake was hungry, and there was nowhere for him to make a sandwich now.

Jake, who was not gay, extended a hand out to the twink on his back. "Hi, I’m Jake, and you are?"

"I’m Rya-OH GOD YES!!! POUND MY ASS!!! I’m Ryan." replied the twink, shaking jakes hand

"Is that your name?" asked Thomas, who had not stopped humping this entire time. "I thought it was Eric"

"Nope, definitely Ryan" the hapless twink turned back to Jake "do you need the counter? I can move over a bit if you need."

"That’d be great" said Jake, and the happily humping pair shifted over just enough to give Jake room to make a sandwich. He got out the ingredients and started spreading some mayo on to a slice of bread, forcing himself to ignore all the gay metaphors that were involved in making a sandwich. He knew that if he let even one form itself into a mental image, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his food, which struck him as odd, seeing as there were two men humping less than six inches from where he was preparing it.

As he headed upstairs happily chomping on his sandwich, Jake tried to think of what he should do for the day. He could start working on a new book, but since he had just gotten his last one published, he wanted to take a vacation from writing. Getting laid was an option, but he wasn’t in the mood to do any of the foot work to get a chick, and he wasn’t anywhere near horny enough to try out the other team, as Thomas had offered so many times. Finally he decided to hop on the computer and spank it for awhile. He plopped down in front of the computer, and opened up the browser and undid his pants.

‘Now what site to try today?’ he thought to himself. Youporn was good as long as you were willing to sift through all the junk. Porntube was stuffed full of fatties lately. He finally settled on Xtube, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, as it was the site he almost always went to. He typed in the URL and went to the most viewed section, as it usually had the best stuff, with minimal digging. He was about to click on the video of some blonde chicks fingering each other in a public fountain, when he noticed a book mark at the top of his screen.

CheapSuperpowers.com

‘weird…’ he thought ‘I don’t remember bookmarking that.’ Jake, suddenly no longer interested in public lesbian voyeurism, clicked the link. A page that looked something like amazon popped up.

CheapSuperpowers.com

Your source for gaining super powers for 10 years and running.

so here's what I want to know...

• what kind of super power should jake order, and what will his name be?
• what drawbacks will there be to the power (seeing as he bought it on the cheap)
• what kind of super power should his arch nemesis have and what should his name be?
• how should the powers be given to people who order them? should it be a drink? an injection? a suppository?

other plot ideas are welcome, but these are the things I listed are what I really want filled in. oh... and here's a comic

Quack?

yeah today was a long day. got to wear my uncomfortable work shoes (which are formerly my comfortable shoes, but the insoles are trashed) and walk around town for a few hours turning in applications and resumes. but that's not the point of this post. the point of this post is how amazing slurpees are.

seriously, when God was sitting in her nice studio apartment in uptown heaven, she must have been having a burst of inspiration or something because she blessed man with the beautiful nectar that is slurpee. I LOVE those things. they're magical. no matter how bad or long my day they make everything okay (yes, I know that rhymed. fuck off.)

so I could have drawn a comic of the epicness that is slurpee. but I decided on this instead...

Publish Post

yeah you people only think i'm kidding. fortunately for me, Mitch accepts my strangness, and that's why I love him =)

so today is about Costco. Costco is freaking amazing. it has everything you need and it has it in bulk. I mean seriously... EVERYTHING. here's how I feel you should shop at Costco...

yeah I know... you don't HAVE to buy things in bulk, but why wouldn't you? I mean seriously, it's cheaper, and it means you'll always have it when you need it. for parties? you can buy anything you need for 2 or 3 parties at a time! it's AMAZING!!!!!! AND THE FREE SAMPLES!!!!! that is the greatest shit on earth. you can make rounds to the tables over and over and make a meal out of it. and if there aren't any sample tables out at the time, you can go over to the food court and for pretty damn cheap you can get a piece of pizza the size of your face =D

I love Costco. and the fact that they have an obscenely cute guy working at their gas station (which is usually the cheapest in town) only makes me love them more.

Okay. Here it is. I'm starting a blog. I've sold my soul. Hooray!!! of course I'm sleep deprived and suffering from a bout of insomnia at the moment. it's 4:30 am as i'm typing this. but oh well, i feel that the worst that can come of this is my writing and musings are weirder than normal... well... not that much weirder...

I know a lot of people might think it's stupid, and will tell me I've sold my soul (that was a joke earlier). but to those people i offer up this comic...

okay I know it's hard to read, but I'm trying. okay? first blog post, remember? so where am I at this moment? well, I'm pretty sleepy, but WIDE AWAKE at the same time. insomnia... it's a bitch. but oh well. most of all I miss Mitch. but I'll see him this weekend =D so I'm pretty psyched about that. k well... I'll post more stuff later on. no set schedule on when I'll update it, but it'll happen often enough i hope.