so... i fail at life right?

yes i know... it's been weeks... fuck you it's not easy being funny or clever. but I know you all love me and I've betrayed that love by not posting anything for weeks. so to make it up to you, I'll tell you an embarrassing story about my mother/myself.

once upon a time, me and my sister were talking about birth control. now I've no idea why we were on that subject, and I've no idea how my mom heard us, but my mother did hear us and decided to walk over and give us her input.

"did you two know that Michael is proof the pull-out method doesn't work?"

my jaw hit the floor... seriously what the hell... my mom just informed me of the truth of my conception. what mother does something like that?

my mother, seeing the look on my face, starts giggling like a little girl. she seemed to think the scarring of my psyche was the funniest shit on earth. since then she has occasionally told me other fun facts about her bedroom habits, and that is the story of why I feel I must periodically give my mother a bit of insight into my sex life.

revenge is a bitch.

and now for a rather inspired comic CTVF

*twitch twitch*

I was sitting at the bus stop the other day, when i got to thinking about just how awesome my iPod is. so i decided to write Apple a letter.

Dear Apple Inc.,

I've been an avid iPod user for years now, but this is not to say I'm happy with your products. I will happily attest to anyone I meet that Apple ruins lives, and using their products is akin to using heroin. how you ask? well I shall explain.

Through the years you had had rather pleasant experiences with lesser drugs (other electronic products). you used pot (HP computers) on a regular basis, perhaps sometimes poped a prescription pill or two (any cellphone other than the iPhone), and you'd even been known to dabble with stronger drugs such as Ecstasy (Zune). You had always chosen to avoid the "hard drugs" however (this is ANY Apple product), simply because you didn't want to be involved with that kind of thing.

But alas you were only human and after much coaxing and prodding from people at a party, you decided to give heroin a try. The high was amazing. You felt like you were on top of the world. Out of all the methods of getting high you had tried in your life, none of them compared to this. And that was how it all started.

You decided you didn't want to do it again, simply to avoid getting addicted. But it was too late, because nothing you did after that could compare to how you felt that night. No matter how much weed you smoked, no matter how many pills you swallowed, you couldn't feel that high again. So finally you went out and and found yourself a dealer.

Your tried to be responsible about it, only using at friends houses, and never driving while high. But you started making small exceptions, and soon you were doing it in your own apartment. Your girlfriend acted like she was okay with it, but she was becoming more and more distant with each day and each "exception". Then one day you crossed the line. You went into work high, and you got caught. Your boss didn't call the cops, but you were fired immediately.

It only went down hill from there. Your girlfriend left you immediately, saying that the drug had taken over your life, and she loved you too much to watch. Your were barely making enough money before to support your habit and still pay the bills, so slowly but surely, you stopped paying them one by one, until your savings was gone and you were kicked out of your apartment. You lived out of your car for awhile, but eventually you even sold that to fuel your addiction.

Months later, you were sitting in an alleyway, shaking because you hadn't gotten your fix for the day. That was when your ex-girlfriend walked by. It broke her heart to see you like that, as she had never stopped loving you for even a moment. She hurried you into her car and drove you 7 hours to your parent's home, and after a heart tearing reunion, you were checked into rehab.

After the hardest weeks of your life, you walked out that clinic renewed. You had accepted that you were and always would be an addict, but with the help of your loved ones, you would stay clean. You got back together with the woman who probably saved your life, and the two of you eventually got married. You got a job, found a place to live, and your life was on track again. But as it usually does, temptation reared it's ugly head once again years later.

You were walking to work when you crossed paths with someone you never wanted to see again. Your dealer. He wanted you back as a customer, and he knew just how to do it. He gave you a free sample. It sat in your coat pocket all day, with you rationalizing all the time why you couldn't just throw it out. When you got home you sat it on the table and stared at it. Your wife was gone for the weekend, and would never need to know if you took the drugs. Your loved her so much, and didn't want to hurt her, but the need to feel that high just one more time was too much.

And so you gave in. And that's how you died. The drugs were tainted and when your wife returned days later, she found you on the couch with the needle still in your hand.

so seriously Apple, get it together. You are ruining families and lives by making your products so fucking amazing. Please just tone them down a bit and start saving lives.

Sincerely,
Me

so there it is. oh boy oh boy I sure hope I get a response. anyway... here's a comic CTVF

Gonna take your mama out all night

so I was waiting around walmart the other day so I could hang out with a friend. while I was waiting  I saw people entering and leaving the town. now most people just passed by without me noticing. but some... well some people encouraged thoughts...


Not even if I were straight
(the fat chick who dressed skinny)

Buddy, it's called a bra. Go get one.
(the fat guy who was running)

Where are your boobs... Oh I see them, down by your belly button.
(the really old lady in the tube top)

I know you just got new shirts but please... Stay shirtless for now ;-)
(hot shirtless guy leaving the store)

Holy hipsters batman!
(take a wild guess)

I'll buy what you're selling ;-)
(comcast guy out front)

MILF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(the hot mom)

I wonder if he knows he's adopted?
(the really white dad with the REALLY black son)


and there were more, but these were the ones who stuck out in my mind. I think I might have to make this a regular event for me. it was pretty fun. well here is the comic for the day  CTVF

so... i herd u liek mudkipz

I feel horrible... I've been neglecting my blog... I swear to god I don't mean to... but some days I don't have ideas... this feels like my digipet... I swear to Kathy, I WILL NOT LET YOU DIE DIVIDE BY ZERO!!!! And with that in mind, I'll do my best to update at least twice a week.

so here's my thing for the day... my aunt Alicia (well... I use the term aunt because she's my uncles girlfriend, but that's a mouthful) is freaking amazing. I know most (if not all) of you are on facebook with me so you've probably seen it, but for those who haven't, my aunt got me a jawbreaker and it's the size of a freaking softball. 

and so that inspired me to list my favorite candies that are currently in circulation. (this list is in no particular order.)

• Peanut M&Ms
• 100 Grand
• Normal M&Ms
• Jawbreakers
• M&M minis
• Snickers
• Kit Kat
• Hershey's milk chocolate
• Hershey's Special Dark.

now don't get me wrong boys and girls. I do enjoy other candies. but these are the ones I'm almost always in the mood for. other candy gets old after awhile though. now that that's over with... here's a comic ^_^ CTVF

pardon me but I believe this gum was yours.

k I'm going to do this one really quick. there are good kissers and there are bad kissers. the good kissers can pretty much all be lumped together as "good kissers" but the bad ones... there are a few different types

#1
The Face Eater
you know what I'm talking about. the people who open their mouths as wide as they can possibly get it and basically try to make out with your entire face.

#2
The Tall Man
similar to the face eater, the tall man opens their mouth too much. but rather than opening it in all directions, the only open it vertically, resulting in then sucking on your nose a bit.

#3
The Wide Horizon
these people seem to think all you need to make out is a really wide mouth, with no vertical room at all.

#4
The Pinhole
completely different from the first three, these people keep their mouth almost entirely closed.

#5
The Puckerfish
they pucker their lips and ram them against yours. provides no satisfaction to you, and usually turns you into an accidental face eater.

#6
The Smushee
the smushee specializes in doing nothing with their lips. they just let their lips just slide around like useless slabs of meat. gennerally acompanied with your face getting covered in about as much drool as with the face eater.

#7
The Botox Beauty
the same issue as the smushee, but rather than let their lips slide around, they keep them tight and rigid. it's like making out with a wall.

#8
The Licker
these are the ones get their tongue all over your whole face. a really bad licker can actually stop your lips from making contact with anything but their tongue.

#9
The Choker
these are my most despised. they're the ones who shove their tongue so far down your throat that you actually gag. and they don't do anything else with their tongues, just in and out and in and out.

there are others as well, but these are the nine most common. I've made out with a lot of people in my life and I can tell you what... nothing can ruin your day like a bad kiss. thank god I've got my boyfriend. and now for a comic. CTVF

don't get too excited yet...

Today Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker announced in a 136-page decision his ruling on the proposition 8 court case. In it he overturned proposition 8 and opened the way for same sex marriage across the country.

"Moral disapproval alone is an improper basis on which to deny rights to gay men and lesbians. The evidence shows conclusively that Proposition 8 enacts, without reason, a private moral view that same-sex couples are inferior to opposite-sex couples,"

and as I said, this decision represents federal opinion which supersedes state and local laws. thus this opens the way for any same sex couple in any state to get married. this is an enormous step forward for human rights, and i for one am glad to see it happen.

that all being said... calm the fuck down you nitwits. this is only a bottom rung decision, which will likely be appealed to the circuit court, and eventually the supreme court. there is no way of knowing how the higher courts will rule, and this decision could be overturned VERY quickly.

an interesting sidenote, this ruling could have a HUGE effect on court rulings that focus around religion, and the separation of church and state.

now here's a comic about how this decision was really made. CTVF

excuse me sir... that's my shoe...

this one is for you guys. we all know there are certain unwritten rules about using the urinal... well I'm writing them down.

The Urinal Commandments

I.

upon entering the restroom, thou shalt not take a station in the middle if there is no one else there. thou shall instead move either all the way to the left, or all the way to the right until you are at the end of the row.

II.

upon entering the restroom, if there is one other person, thou shalt stand as far away from them as possible, with an exception being if the furthest urinal is the short urinal. then thou has the option of moving to the next furthest urinal away. (this exception is void if there are only 3 urinals. then you MUST take the short urinal)

III.

upon entering the bathroom, if there are multiple people at the urinals, thou shalt place thyself as far from every one as possible. should standing next to one person be unavoidable, you must do it in a way that distances yourself from everyone else, rather than standing side by side with two other men.

IV.

whilst standing at the urinal, though shalt not look around the bathroom. thou shalt instead either look straight ahead, or down. eye contact with your fellow man is strictly forbidden.

V.

thou shalt never talk with thine fellow man whilst either of you are using the urinal. seriously... NEVER.

VI.

upon entering the bathroom, should all urinals be taken, though shalt taketh a stall and use a toilet, rather than wait for a urinal to empty. this is even if you think your fellow man is almost done. should all stalls be taken, thou shall wait as though thou are waiting for a stall rather than a urinal, but may move to a urinal should one become free.

seriously people... learn these laws and obey them. or I shall come for you. now here's a comic boys and girls. CTVF

the slurpee story.

here's a story I wrote. I hope you all enjoy it because I've been writing it since yesterday. (yes that's why I didn't post yesterday. suck it up)

Mike sat on a bench, reading a book and drinking a Slurpee. It was dark out now, but the street lamp left him with enough light to continue reading. He set his drink down to turn the page, and as he did so a couple of thugs walked up.

“Hey queer, what you reading?” one thug asked.

“The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy” Mike replied without even looking up.

“Sounds like a fag book” the second hood said.

“Where are your heels and dress fag?” The first piped in.

Mike shrugged without saying a word, and kept reading. Then he lifted up his Slurpee and took a drink.

“Oh well now we KNOW he’s queer. Only a fag would drink that shit.” Said thug number two

“Yeah man, those things fucking suck.” The first thug practically spat that last word out at Mike. He stood up and looked the thug right in the eye.

“Listen here asshole, you can make fun of my sexual orientation, my taste in books, and even the fact that I walk surprisingly well in heels. But NEVER mock Slurpees.

“What you gonna do about it, faggot?” the second thug asked

“Just don’t do it again.” And with that Mike went back to his book and drink.

The first thug bent over and got right in Mike’s face

“Slurpees are fucking gross.”

Some time later, Mike was in court.

“We can now hear closing arguments from the defense.” The judge said.

Jeff was fresh out of law school when he was contacted by Mike. They hadn’t seen each other in years, but it sounded like Mike needed help. Now he had his first case ever, and he couldn’t help but feel he was in way over his head. So far it looked like his friend was going to jail for a very long time. Still, he had one last idea, and he hoped it would at least get the sentence reduced.

“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. You know exactly what happened. Both parties have told you the exact same story. My client, no… my friend, Mike admits to killing one person and leaving another paralyzed from the waist down. We’re not asking you to determine whether or not that happened. What we need from the 12 of you is a ruling on whether or not this crime was justified.”

Jeff took a deep breath. He couldn’t believe what he was about to say.

“The victim admits that he and his deceased friend verbally assaulted my client, but more importantly, they mocked the infinite glory that is the Slurpee. I’ve had a Slurpee machine with an assortment of flavors placed in the jury room. I implore you to try one, so you know exactly how my client felt, before you make your decision.”

The judge sent the jury to deliberate, and Jeff sat back down, knowing his friend was doomed. He looked over at Mike, who was absent mindedly doodling in a notebook during the entire proceedings. Jeff couldn’t understand how he could be so relaxed, when he was obviously going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

After only 10 minutes, the jury came back into the court room. Jeff braced himself for the inevitable ruling. That’s when the unbelievable happened. The foreman stood up and read what they’d decided.

“after some brief discussion, and trying the Slurpees, we find the defendant to be not guilty”

Jeff couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He turned to look at the expression on his clients face.  Mike had a slightly disgruntled look on his face.

“Does this looks like a urinal to you?” he asked. And he held up a doodle for Jeff to look at.

“Mike, you just got off! Aren’t you excited?!”

“Eh… I knew I’d get off.” Mike set down his drawing.

“How could you possibly have known that? You admitted to killing one guy and paralyzing another! You should be in jail right now!”

“Jeff… have you ever actually had a Slurpee?” and with that, Mike walked out and headed straight to the nearest 7-11.

 I hope you all enjoyed that. I know I did. to finish off this post, here's a quick comic. and remember CTVF (Click To View Full)

ur mum!!!

so here's my thing. I'll openly say that dogs are probably better than cats. better pets, better companions, and all around better animals.

dogs are better because...

1. they're easier to train.
2. they're happier to see you when you get home. 
3. they're loyal to you.
4. they're protective of you.

cats are worse because...

1. they don't care about you.
2. they will love you one minute and claw you out the next. 
3. they won't do anything if it doesn't directly benefit them.

now that being said... I will ALWAYS pick having a cat over a dog as a pet. why because cats are devious, vindictive bastards who just don't give a fuck. and I like that. it's what I like in a pet.

so... here's a comic. lol enjoy ^_^ and remember to click to view full.

(insert title here)

so gonna be a quicky tonight (hee hee, quicky). I've been thinking long and hard on this and here are my top 5 pies in order of amazingness.

#5
Apple
okay I get it, it's an american classic, and I'm not saying it's bad... I like apple pie just fine, it's just not my favorite.

#4
Pumpkin
pretty damn good (except for my grandma Richeson's recipe... I fucking hate that stuff, and every year I have to choke down a slice and try not to lose my cookies)

#3
Chocolate pudding/mousse
alright maybe some people will argue "that's not really a kind of pie!" and to those people I say, Fuck off. if pumpkin pie counts then so does this.

#2
Blueberry
this one is pretty damn good, but if you use bad blueberries, or if you cook it for too long, it has the potential to be terrible. but 99/100 times it's brilliant.

and last, my favorite pie in the world. this pie is a pie above all others and it is rare I choose any other pie over this one... I give you...

#1
Marionberry
FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!! not joking, this is the best kind of pie in the world. I started eating it about 5 years ago and I've been hooked ever since. this is not a discussion. I am TELLING you. THIS. PIE. IS. GOD.

and now for a friendly comic. like I always say, click to see the full thing.

yeah I didn't post yesterday... what of it?

today was a good day overall. woke up, checked out my internet stuffs, played with my new DS game (the new super mario bros), got some food, headed out and ran into a friend. over all my morning was good, or at least until the ninjas showed up. fucking government ninjas are always ruining my day. I suppose it's not their fault, they're just doing their job. but do those assholes really have to always attack me in the bathroom?

there I am standing at the urinal when one of the stall doors fly open and this guy dressed in black flies out at me with a kusarigama. as everyone knows, it's pretty much useless to try and run when your opponent has one of those things (all he'll do is grab you with the chain and trip you up, and at that point you're screwed). so I dodged his initial attack and blasted him in the jaw with my knee. I grabbed the weighted end of his weapon and cracked him in the back of the head with it. once he was on the ground, I checked his pulse. he was only,  knocked out so I called an ambulance and head on my way.

once I got out I decided to head to the beach to read for awhile, but apparently someone really has it out for me because I didn't get through two chapters when a hole in the dimensional barrier ripped open right above the lagoon. so I cast a freezing charm and ran out to the middle of the lake, and there I am standing with a freaking portal to the demon realm opening up fifteen feet above my head. of course THAT is when I realized I'd left my pocket knife at home. so now I had no way of closing the rift, maybe a hundred people standing around watching me because they think it's some kind of show, and at that moment I started craving a slurpee REALLY bad.

I started looking around at the crowd frantically, hoping that I might see something I need. that's when I saw it... a yo-yo. I ran across the ice and grabbed the yo-yo from the kid holding it, then I ran to the portal, leaped into the air, and flung the toy as hard as I could at the focusing crystal in the center of the the opening. the yo-yo jammed into the center of it and I yanked back the string as hard as I could. fortunately I managed to pull out the crystal when I did because that demon was literally about to get through the portal.

well apparently the crowd was pretty impressed with my "show" cuz the applauded afterwards. then I walked my happy ass over to the 7-11, bought the biggest slurpee I could, and headed home. slurpees make every day pretty damn okay.

oh so because i felt it would be fun, here is a live action remake of my last comic. like I've said so many times before, just click it to see the whole thing.

because jake commands it.

vanilla coke... FUCK YEAH!!! this stuff is amazing. really it's an amazing drink. it's hard to find now though. I mean it's still for sale, but it's just not for sale everywhere. so here's a list of the things that I love, that while still around, are hard to find.

• Vanilla Coke (Mitch says they sell it in 12 packs at central)
• Mountain Dew Live Wire (though the fred meyer's in burlington sells it in 12 packs)
• Invader Zim (only shows on NickToons)
• CatDog (same as Invader Zim)

and last but not least...

• CRISPY M&MS

you all have NO IDEA how much I loved those things. you can try telling me those new pretzel M&Ms are close to the same thing, but close is not enough. do you know what I did right after those were discontinued? I went to a liquidation store that still had them, and bought enough to last me 2 months (which was about $30 but i was little so that was a ton of money to me). then I finally ran out, and my soul dies a little bit. now if I want those, I have to order them from another country... not cool M&M company... not cool...

speaking of things I love... here's a comic. 

dude... i can hear my hair growing.

so today is a kind of serious post. It's all about points of view.

everyone has their own opinions and their own points of view, but what I can't stand are people who take their own point of view, and completely shut out and ignore EVERYONE who has something even slightly different to say. and there are two kinda of people like this. there are the ones who pretend like they're listening, but haven't actually heard a word you've said, and there are those who simply cut you off, tell you your wrong, and won't let you say a word for your side.

the thing both of them have in common is they both go into a "discussion" with their minds made up. the thing is, what good is having an opinion if you don't know anything of the other side of the argument. the fact is, just because you think you know everything about a subject, doesn't mean you do. perhaps if you listen to the other side, they could say something you didn't know about before. perhaps if you listen to what they say, you can make a better argument for your side. but telling people that they're wrong about something that is based on opinions and philosophy, is a very bad way to go about living.

now i'm not going to pretend like I'm perfect. I know i'm guilty of what I've mentioned, but I try very hard to listen to what people have to say, even if I don't agree with it.

on a happier note, I have been re-reading my some of my favorite books lately. The Hitchhikers Guide series. I love these books, simply because they are such a wonderful play on humanity, and how we act with each other. and on that note, here is my comic for the day, I hope some will find it funny, and others will find it hilarious. and remember, you can click it to open in it's own screen to view.

hmm... damn her and her good points...

so someone... *cough cough* told my mom about this blog. now I'm not going to censor anything I say on here too much, but no more posts about family. I'll rant about that in private. because as much as I hate to admit it, my mother (and the person who told her about it, who I still think is amazing and I love them)  had a good point. if certain family members read those posts, it would cause me more grief than anything else. so I'm gonna keep those away from here, and I'll post other more fun things instead. now for that comic I posted yesterday but deleted =P

all grown up?

you know what scares me shitless? I'm an adult. I mean... I'm an ADULT! for the love of Christ how terrifying is that? I mean... I still like Lego blocks, and I think silly putty is the greatest shit on earth. i laugh my ass off at kids shows like iCarly. hell most of the time I only pick up half of what people say because I usually have some kind of epic fantasy going on in my head about     A) having super powers     B) having ninjas burst into the middle of the conversation and we have to fight them off     or C) the person i'm talking to dying in a comical fashion (like their head popping like a balloon)

now don't worry, I know I have responsibilities and I'm not about to go shirking those, but still at heart I still feel like a kid sometimes.

you know what screw everything I just wrote. as written in XKCD I'm an adult now, so it's up to me to decide what that means. if I still have dreams of creating the worlds most epic treehouse, then more power to me. INNER CHILDREN OF THE WORLD UNITE!!!!!!!!

AND NOW..... here is a comic. click the picture if you can't see the whole thing and it should open in a new window.

my story... help?

hey all you Michael fans, I started writing this, and I want help developing the plot. I'm not really looking for editing or stuff like that, but what I am looking for, I've listed at the bottom. so read the story, and gimme your advice.

"Jesus fucking Christ Thomas, what the fuck are you doing?" asked Jake “that’s gross!”

"It’s okay!" replied Thomas, who at the time, was balls deep in some little twink on the kitchen counter. "We moved all the stuff off before we started."

"THAT'S NOT THE ISSUE!" Jake screamed. This was hardly the first time Jake had caught Thomas fucking somewhere he shouldn't, but that fact did nothing to ease Jake’s anger. It wasn't as much the fact that Thomas was having sex on the kitchen counter, but more that Jake was hungry, and there was nowhere for him to make a sandwich now.

Jake, who was not gay, extended a hand out to the twink on his back. "Hi, I’m Jake, and you are?"

"I’m Rya-OH GOD YES!!! POUND MY ASS!!! I’m Ryan." replied the twink, shaking jakes hand

"Is that your name?" asked Thomas, who had not stopped humping this entire time. "I thought it was Eric"

"Nope, definitely Ryan" the hapless twink turned back to Jake "do you need the counter? I can move over a bit if you need."

"That’d be great" said Jake, and the happily humping pair shifted over just enough to give Jake room to make a sandwich. He got out the ingredients and started spreading some mayo on to a slice of bread, forcing himself to ignore all the gay metaphors that were involved in making a sandwich. He knew that if he let even one form itself into a mental image, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his food, which struck him as odd, seeing as there were two men humping less than six inches from where he was preparing it.

As he headed upstairs happily chomping on his sandwich, Jake tried to think of what he should do for the day. He could start working on a new book, but since he had just gotten his last one published, he wanted to take a vacation from writing. Getting laid was an option, but he wasn’t in the mood to do any of the foot work to get a chick, and he wasn’t anywhere near horny enough to try out the other team, as Thomas had offered so many times. Finally he decided to hop on the computer and spank it for awhile. He plopped down in front of the computer, and opened up the browser and undid his pants.

‘Now what site to try today?’ he thought to himself. Youporn was good as long as you were willing to sift through all the junk. Porntube was stuffed full of fatties lately. He finally settled on Xtube, which shouldn’t have been a surprise, as it was the site he almost always went to. He typed in the URL and went to the most viewed section, as it usually had the best stuff, with minimal digging. He was about to click on the video of some blonde chicks fingering each other in a public fountain, when he noticed a book mark at the top of his screen.

CheapSuperpowers.com

‘weird…’ he thought ‘I don’t remember bookmarking that.’ Jake, suddenly no longer interested in public lesbian voyeurism, clicked the link. A page that looked something like amazon popped up.

CheapSuperpowers.com

Your source for gaining super powers for 10 years and running.

so here's what I want to know...

• what kind of super power should jake order, and what will his name be?
• what drawbacks will there be to the power (seeing as he bought it on the cheap)
• what kind of super power should his arch nemesis have and what should his name be?
• how should the powers be given to people who order them? should it be a drink? an injection? a suppository?

other plot ideas are welcome, but these are the things I listed are what I really want filled in. oh... and here's a comic

Quack?

yeah today was a long day. got to wear my uncomfortable work shoes (which are formerly my comfortable shoes, but the insoles are trashed) and walk around town for a few hours turning in applications and resumes. but that's not the point of this post. the point of this post is how amazing slurpees are.

seriously, when God was sitting in her nice studio apartment in uptown heaven, she must have been having a burst of inspiration or something because she blessed man with the beautiful nectar that is slurpee. I LOVE those things. they're magical. no matter how bad or long my day they make everything okay (yes, I know that rhymed. fuck off.)

so I could have drawn a comic of the epicness that is slurpee. but I decided on this instead...

Publish Post

yeah you people only think i'm kidding. fortunately for me, Mitch accepts my strangness, and that's why I love him =)

so today is about Costco. Costco is freaking amazing. it has everything you need and it has it in bulk. I mean seriously... EVERYTHING. here's how I feel you should shop at Costco...

yeah I know... you don't HAVE to buy things in bulk, but why wouldn't you? I mean seriously, it's cheaper, and it means you'll always have it when you need it. for parties? you can buy anything you need for 2 or 3 parties at a time! it's AMAZING!!!!!! AND THE FREE SAMPLES!!!!! that is the greatest shit on earth. you can make rounds to the tables over and over and make a meal out of it. and if there aren't any sample tables out at the time, you can go over to the food court and for pretty damn cheap you can get a piece of pizza the size of your face =D

I love Costco. and the fact that they have an obscenely cute guy working at their gas station (which is usually the cheapest in town) only makes me love them more.

Okay. Here it is. I'm starting a blog. I've sold my soul. Hooray!!! of course I'm sleep deprived and suffering from a bout of insomnia at the moment. it's 4:30 am as i'm typing this. but oh well, i feel that the worst that can come of this is my writing and musings are weirder than normal... well... not that much weirder...

I know a lot of people might think it's stupid, and will tell me I've sold my soul (that was a joke earlier). but to those people i offer up this comic...

okay I know it's hard to read, but I'm trying. okay? first blog post, remember? so where am I at this moment? well, I'm pretty sleepy, but WIDE AWAKE at the same time. insomnia... it's a bitch. but oh well. most of all I miss Mitch. but I'll see him this weekend =D so I'm pretty psyched about that. k well... I'll post more stuff later on. no set schedule on when I'll update it, but it'll happen often enough i hope.