Friday, August 6, 2010

pardon me but I believe this gum was yours.

k I'm going to do this one really quick. there are good kissers and there are bad kissers. the good kissers can pretty much all be lumped together as "good kissers" but the bad ones... there are a few different types

#1
The Face Eater
you know what I'm talking about. the people who open their mouths as wide as they can possibly get it and basically try to make out with your entire face.

#2
The Tall Man
similar to the face eater, the tall man opens their mouth too much. but rather than opening it in all directions, the only open it vertically, resulting in then sucking on your nose a bit.

#3
The Wide Horizon
these people seem to think all you need to make out is a really wide mouth, with no vertical room at all.

#4
The Pinhole
completely different from the first three, these people keep their mouth almost entirely closed.

#5
The Puckerfish
they pucker their lips and ram them against yours. provides no satisfaction to you, and usually turns you into an accidental face eater.

#6
The Smushee
the smushee specializes in doing nothing with their lips. they just let their lips just slide around like useless slabs of meat. gennerally acompanied with your face getting covered in about as much drool as with the face eater.

#7
The Botox Beauty
the same issue as the smushee, but rather than let their lips slide around, they keep them tight and rigid. it's like making out with a wall.

#8
The Licker
these are the ones get their tongue all over your whole face. a really bad licker can actually stop your lips from making contact with anything but their tongue.

#9
The Choker
these are my most despised. they're the ones who shove their tongue so far down your throat that you actually gag. and they don't do anything else with their tongues, just in and out and in and out.

there are others as well, but these are the nine most common. I've made out with a lot of people in my life and I can tell you what... nothing can ruin your day like a bad kiss. thank god I've got my boyfriend. and now for a comic. CTVF



No comments:

Post a Comment