*twitch twitch*

I was sitting at the bus stop the other day, when i got to thinking about just how awesome my iPod is. so i decided to write Apple a letter.

Dear Apple Inc.,

I've been an avid iPod user for years now, but this is not to say I'm happy with your products. I will happily attest to anyone I meet that Apple ruins lives, and using their products is akin to using heroin. how you ask? well I shall explain.

Through the years you had had rather pleasant experiences with lesser drugs (other electronic products). you used pot (HP computers) on a regular basis, perhaps sometimes poped a prescription pill or two (any cellphone other than the iPhone), and you'd even been known to dabble with stronger drugs such as Ecstasy (Zune). You had always chosen to avoid the "hard drugs" however (this is ANY Apple product), simply because you didn't want to be involved with that kind of thing.

But alas you were only human and after much coaxing and prodding from people at a party, you decided to give heroin a try. The high was amazing. You felt like you were on top of the world. Out of all the methods of getting high you had tried in your life, none of them compared to this. And that was how it all started.

You decided you didn't want to do it again, simply to avoid getting addicted. But it was too late, because nothing you did after that could compare to how you felt that night. No matter how much weed you smoked, no matter how many pills you swallowed, you couldn't feel that high again. So finally you went out and and found yourself a dealer.

Your tried to be responsible about it, only using at friends houses, and never driving while high. But you started making small exceptions, and soon you were doing it in your own apartment. Your girlfriend acted like she was okay with it, but she was becoming more and more distant with each day and each "exception". Then one day you crossed the line. You went into work high, and you got caught. Your boss didn't call the cops, but you were fired immediately.

It only went down hill from there. Your girlfriend left you immediately, saying that the drug had taken over your life, and she loved you too much to watch. Your were barely making enough money before to support your habit and still pay the bills, so slowly but surely, you stopped paying them one by one, until your savings was gone and you were kicked out of your apartment. You lived out of your car for awhile, but eventually you even sold that to fuel your addiction.

Months later, you were sitting in an alleyway, shaking because you hadn't gotten your fix for the day. That was when your ex-girlfriend walked by. It broke her heart to see you like that, as she had never stopped loving you for even a moment. She hurried you into her car and drove you 7 hours to your parent's home, and after a heart tearing reunion, you were checked into rehab.

After the hardest weeks of your life, you walked out that clinic renewed. You had accepted that you were and always would be an addict, but with the help of your loved ones, you would stay clean. You got back together with the woman who probably saved your life, and the two of you eventually got married. You got a job, found a place to live, and your life was on track again. But as it usually does, temptation reared it's ugly head once again years later.

You were walking to work when you crossed paths with someone you never wanted to see again. Your dealer. He wanted you back as a customer, and he knew just how to do it. He gave you a free sample. It sat in your coat pocket all day, with you rationalizing all the time why you couldn't just throw it out. When you got home you sat it on the table and stared at it. Your wife was gone for the weekend, and would never need to know if you took the drugs. Your loved her so much, and didn't want to hurt her, but the need to feel that high just one more time was too much.

And so you gave in. And that's how you died. The drugs were tainted and when your wife returned days later, she found you on the couch with the needle still in your hand.

so seriously Apple, get it together. You are ruining families and lives by making your products so fucking amazing. Please just tone them down a bit and start saving lives.

Sincerely,
Me

so there it is. oh boy oh boy I sure hope I get a response. anyway... here's a comic CTVF