Today's blog is brought to you buy the letter "B", as in boobies. Whose boobies you might ask? My friend Caitlin's. And they are those magical and splendid boobies in the world (sorry Aunt Alicia). I have had many adventures involving her boobies, including the event that I feel cemented our friendship.
It was back toward the beginning of my sophomore year, when I would sleep through my entire biology class, but still pass all the tests somehow. This was one of the rare days where I stayed awake, but as a result, I zoned out quite easily. Unfortunately, at the time, my default "zone out" position caused me to appear as though I was staring straight at Caitlin’s knockers. Well she noticed this, and decided to express her distain. She stood up and yelled at me
It was back toward the beginning of my sophomore year, when I would sleep through my entire biology class, but still pass all the tests somehow. This was one of the rare days where I stayed awake, but as a result, I zoned out quite easily. Unfortunately, at the time, my default "zone out" position caused me to appear as though I was staring straight at Caitlin’s knockers. Well she noticed this, and decided to express her distain. She stood up and yelled at me
"GOD DAMMIT MICHAEL!!! STOP STARING AT MY BOOBS!!!"
At this point the entire class stops and Mr. Van just stood there silent for a second. I tried to stammer out that I wasn't staring at her chest and apologized a couple times and Mr. Van just went on with the lesson. From that day on, Caitlin and I were great friends.
Now let's discuss a bit more about her chesticles. First of all, they've gone up 4 cup sizes since I've known her. Any time she buys a bra that is the proper size and they're given some breathing room, they start growing again. It's been a running joke to take her into Victoria’s secret periodically to force her to get resized. She was a 34-DD last time we checked. My boyfriend and I hope they'll keep growing until she can use them to crush soda cans.
Now here is the oddest thing about her boobs. Dispute their size. They are fantastically perky. I mean, I've seen A LOT of breasts in my life (more than many straight men) and usually once they become large C-cups, they start to sag pretty drastically. But the one time I've seen her topless, I was shocked by how perky they were. Then I screamed like a little girl because I DID NOT want to see those. Seriously... I freaked. I mean, she's been one of my best friends for years. It just wasn't something I wanted to see. Plus I was a bit worried she might want to kill me. Fortunately she knew it was an accident, so my life and testicles were spared.
But I digress, Caitlin, if you are reading this I would like to remind you to be proud of your fun bags. Flaunt them with the utmost pride. And to my straight male and lesbian friends, be careful. Caitlin is a lot stronger than she looks, and will beat you if you deserve it (I know from experience).
And now for a comic. CTVF
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