Saturday, February 12, 2011

Because I love you Starr.

So there I was, two conflicting decisions staring each other in the face like two infants right before they fight to the death.

You see, I needed to catch the bus into town so I could buy food stuffs, and I only had 10 minutes to catch the bus. Now that is just enough time to get to the stop, and not have to worry about the bus coming a minute or two early. But here was the catch. I had to pee. BADLY. we're talking, this would have been a 2 minute pee at least.

And so I was bitch slapped with a horrifying decision. Satisfy my bladder and risk missing the bus forcing me to catch another bus in an hour, or leave now to catch the bus, thus placating my stomach more quickly but risking loss of bladder control before reaching the store bathroom.  Had this taken place earlier in the day, this decision would have been easy, i would choose too pee. But alas, there was another catch. A catch upon catch. A double catch. You see, the next bus was the 2:48 bus (one bus an hour), which meant my bus home, rather than being at 22 minutes after the hour, would instead be at 3:45! The 3 o’clock hour is when they make a time change for the evening routes. Rather than just having to wait 1 hour longer, I’d have to wait an hour and a half if I chose to open the floodgates and missed my bus.

Which one to choose? My bladder was like a balloon filled too much, just a little pressure away from bursting. At the same time, my stomach was like a catholic priest who hadn’t raped a little boy in 6 whole hours. It was willing to kill to get what it wanted.

I turned to my cats for guidance, but they had none. They simply looked at me mockingly, knowing the inner turmoil I was suffering through. I glance to the bathroom, then to my front door, and finally to my phone to check the time. I had to choose.

Well I grab my bag, and start heading to the bus stop. It was a good thing I left when I did because literally the moment I got to the bus stop, I saw the bus come over the hill. 2 minutes early. A couple minutes later I got to Albertsons and I walked to the bathroom (if I had ran, I would have peed my pants).

That period where I had to choose was easily the longest 30 seconds of my life.

Now that I’ve assaulted you all with imagery of my bathroom business, I’ll give you a comic I made on my iPod in 60 seconds. CTVF


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