Today's blogpost is brought to you by vodka. Vodka: giving me my greatest insights since 2004.
So has anyone thought about how immensely fucked up the Smurfs were? I mean, it was screwed up. There was nothing normal about it at all.
You have that evil wizard guy. He wanted to basically melt down these little blue humans for a little bit of gold. And even assuming the amount of gold he'd get was exactly equal to the mass of the Smurfs he killed, there is no way that by the end of the series that the gold would be equal to the money and effort he put into catching those little blue bastards. This implies that at some point, he started doing what he did for nothing more than revenge and homicidal lust.
Then we'll look into the surfs themselves. Here you have this village filled with a shit ton of men, and two girls. And one of those girls was a mother fucking little kid. I mean we can hope that all those guys stuck to fucking Smurfette, but let's face it, at some point Smurfette would have 1) gotten very boring (assuming she was used by the guys for nothing more than sex) and 2) she would have gotten very loose. Seriously, it must be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. So if the dozens of men in the village get tired of Smurfette, then we can assume they’ll look for something else. Maybe a few of them tested the other side of live and plowed Vanity Smurf, but it’s just as likely that they went for that little girl instead.
So has anyone thought about how immensely fucked up the Smurfs were? I mean, it was screwed up. There was nothing normal about it at all.
You have that evil wizard guy. He wanted to basically melt down these little blue humans for a little bit of gold. And even assuming the amount of gold he'd get was exactly equal to the mass of the Smurfs he killed, there is no way that by the end of the series that the gold would be equal to the money and effort he put into catching those little blue bastards. This implies that at some point, he started doing what he did for nothing more than revenge and homicidal lust.
Then we'll look into the surfs themselves. Here you have this village filled with a shit ton of men, and two girls. And one of those girls was a mother fucking little kid. I mean we can hope that all those guys stuck to fucking Smurfette, but let's face it, at some point Smurfette would have 1) gotten very boring (assuming she was used by the guys for nothing more than sex) and 2) she would have gotten very loose. Seriously, it must be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. So if the dozens of men in the village get tired of Smurfette, then we can assume they’ll look for something else. Maybe a few of them tested the other side of live and plowed Vanity Smurf, but it’s just as likely that they went for that little girl instead.
I dunno… maybe I’m over thinking it, but I feel like the show was pretty screwed up. Then again, I can say the same thing about a lot of cartoons from that time. Anyway, here is a comic for you wonderful people.
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